Halfway Through the Holidays… Maybe I Needed This Reminder

I found a little note from my daughter today, and it made me wonder whether I've been measuring this summer by the wrong things.

We're about halfway through the summer holidays now.

And can I be honest?

I'm tired.

Like ALL the way tired.

Like deep in my bones, could-sleep for a thousand years, Disney princess style tired.

There were things I planned to do that haven't happened. Places I thought we'd go. Things I wanted to achieve.

And some days I simply don't possess the energy to get everybody up, organised and out of the house before midday.

There's been bickering too.

Nonsensical bickering.

Pull your hair out bickering.

Sit in your car questioning your life choices whilst you take a minute to calm down bickering.

And trying to find things that work for everyone can be exhausting in itself.

But here's something I'm learning:

Understanding why something is difficult for my babies doesn't make supporting them through it any less exhausting.

I can have compassion for what they're experiencing and acknowledge what it takes out of me.

Both can be true.

Then today, I saw something that stopped me.

A little picture my baby girl made for me at the beginning of the holidays.

"I love you Mom. Happy Summer."

And suddenly, I was pulled back into the present.

I remembered the morning she'd made it.

I'd wanted to do my usual first-of-the-month rituals in peace and quiet. Instead, both of them woke early, the bickering started almost immediately, and the calm morning I'd imagined disappeared.

At one point, I went outside to water my poor, thirsty flowers.

For about two minutes, I just stood there.

Sunshine. Water. Flowers. Breathing.

Nobody needed anything from me.

I wasn't solving anything.

I was simply present.

A tiny moment of zen...

Until I spotted the fox poo. Eurgh!!!

When I came back inside, my daughter had made me that picture.

A tiny bloom in the middle of a difficult morning.

And seeing it again today made me wonder...

Have I been measuring this summer by the wrong things?

I've been noticing what we haven't done.

The plans we haven't completed.

How quickly the holidays are disappearing.

But perhaps halfway doesn't need to mean hurry up.

Maybe it can mean pause.

Reflect.

Notice and appreciate the things that have happened.

What do my children actually need from the rest of the summer?

And just as importantly...

What do I need?

I'm constantly talking about rest, compassion and noticing the moment.

Taking my own advice?

Yeah... that's sometimes a little harder.

But perhaps that's part of this too.

I don't need to squeeze everything I'd planned into the remaining weeks.

Neither do you.

Maybe we can meet ourselves where we actually are rather than where we thought we'd be.

The summer doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful.

We can find meaningful moments in the laughter, the cuddles, the repairs after arguments, two minutes watering the flowers...

And little handwritten notes that find us again exactly when we need them.

A little reflection

Instead of asking:

"What haven't we done yet?"

Maybe ask:

"What has quietly sustained us so far and what do we need now?"

I'm asking myself the same thing.

Tiny blooms still count.

Love,

Nikki